Like I said, this list is great. It also reassures you that yes, people really can be that ignorant. (In case you had any doubt.) I've included the first 5 out of 14 things NOT to say to a military wife. You can read the rest on this guy's blog. After reading this, please read the inspiring story of Katie–a military wife who I interviewed about how she manages to deal with the angst of being away from her husband while he's stationed in Iraq. I found Katie to be delightful...she's savvy, spunky–and seriously wise for a 20-something. Now try and find that combination!
1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?" (This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)
2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)
3. "At least he's not in Iraq."
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf?
4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?" (Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)
5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?" (Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy.)
1 comment:
I love this list! As the wife of a deployed soldier I can relate to every single one! #2 is especially relative, you can't imagine the places we take our cell phones!
#15 should be:
"did you hear about that bombing in Baghdad yesterday? Is that close to where your husband is?"
My chosen response would be: No, but thanks for informing me of the tragedies I try to not worry about...by the way I don't watch the news reports and would you really want to be the one to inform me my husband's camp got blown up? Probably not so keep that information to yourself please and thank you very much.
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